


Let Me Take Care Of It, Baby

by ZubbitheDuck



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 1950's, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Artist Steve Rogers, Blowjobs, Bottom Steve Rogers, Cliche, Drugs and weapons, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, First Time, Flashbacks, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gay Steve Rogers, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hydra (Marvel), Late Night Writing, Loss of Virginity, Love at First Sight, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rimming, Top Bucky Barnes, True Love, cop!steve, gangster!bucky, send help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 01:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZubbitheDuck/pseuds/ZubbitheDuck
Summary: Bucky Barnes might be a hardcore criminal that everyone knows, but his soft spot will always be Steve Rogers.9 years after their "break up" Steve wants answers. And what other way to get revenge over your gangster boss ex-lover, than to become a cop?I suck at summaries, but give it a try!





	Let Me Take Care Of It, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I will apologize right away for all the spelling errors! I'm danish and it's late, so please tell if you see any stupid fails in it.  
> I was watching a show with my sister in law and this idea just crashed into my head out of freaking nowhere. It's the first time I've ever written such "a long" (nope, it ain't long but let's pretend) fic before, so I sure don't hope it gets boring or whatever.  
> I wrote it as fast as I could while the idea was still fresh, and when my head is clear again after a good nights sleep I will read it again and be embarassed by all my fails and errors!  
> But I HAD to publish it!  
> Enjoy! :D

The two men stared at each other for too long. Never had Steve imagined the day that he would run into Bucky Barnes again. His throat went dry. Bucky was just as beautiful as ever. Even with his 5 o’clock shadow and his hair reaching his shoulders. Steve hadn’t seen him since, when was it? … 1956? That was 9 years ago. Memories came crashing down on the blond. They were only 15 feet away from each other. Steve in his uniform, Bucky face first onto the hood of a police car. He was being handcuffed with the rest of his gang.

“Mr. Rogers, we got ‘em all.” Wilson gave him a pat on the back before holding the door open for Steve.

Steve quickly nodded before sliding in to the passenger seat. He had a hard time not staring at the handsome brunet that he knew so well. He could see in Bucky’s eyes that he’d remembered the blond, even though Steve had grown a lot since the last time they laid eyes on each other. Passion and love was the emotions Steve could still recall from that night, but only if he dug deep into the sadness and hatred he felt for the other. Steve knew this day would come eventually, maybe he had hoped that it would come easier than this. 

The blond didn’t say a word the whole way back to the station. He didn’t know if Wilson could sense his mood or if he was just too mind blown over the fact that he had seen the Bucky Barnes. Famous gangster that men wanted to be and women wanted to be with. He was charming but he was getting old. Bucky was still an important figure on the street, unfortunately. He was an inspiration to a lot of young boys. Import of weapons and drugs, he was rich on dirty money. 

Steve still remembers the interior of the brunets dark maroon Cadillac. The light brown leather seats, the brunet’s strong arm resting on the window with a lazy hand on the stearin wheel. It had of cause been convertible, because nothing less was enough for Bucky. His million-dollar smile and twinkle in the eye whenever he looked at Steve. Cigarette between his fingers.

“Sir, we’re here.” Wilson announced, waking the blond from his trip down memory lane. It was early in the morning but the street was already crowded with journalist, news reporters, and nosy politicians. Blue and red light were flashing through the street outside the station and Steve knew that he would barely be able to get out of the car before the questions would be thrown at him. He was becoming used to this after a few years in the field.

As soon as he was out of the car, a rain of questions started. It was all “where”, “how”, “what now”, and Steve could do nothing more than wave them off without a word. He knew he was the one to lead the interrogation on Bucky. He had been on the case for 4 years, and now he had the chance. He knew he had work to do, but he had so many questions for the brunet to answer before Steve could finally live his life without regrets and sorrow. 

Steve strolled down to the room where Bucky right now would be sitting. His gang was in a holding cell and as Steve past them he could hear them whisper behind his back. Some of them recognized him, and not only as a cop. He didn’t spare them one glance. He only had eyes for Bucky, so to speak. 

He shut the door behind him. Now standing eye to eye with the man who took his heart 12 years ago and broke it 3 years later. Their eyes locked. It was so long ago since Steve had been so close to the man and his heart was beating fast and hard in his chest. Bucky recognized him before but now it seemed like he realized that this was actually true.

“I thought you were smaller.” The brunet stated with his husky voice, so rich like dark chocolate and gruff around the edges. 

“James Buchanan Barnes, aka Bucky.” Steve said flatly before stepping into the room. Bucky’s hands were chained to the table. He was wearing a white shirt and dark brown pants, sported with a pair of suspenders and leather shoes. All tailored correctly, like it was painted on that sculptured body.

“Steven Grant Rogers, aka Stevie. My Stevie.” That name hurt, especially when those red lips wrapped around then like they were sacred. 

“I’m not your ‘Stevie’. Never was and never will be.” And that hurt even more. The blond kept his face stone hard, not showing how much this was eating him up.

“Don’t deny it, Stevie. We were in love, don’t act like you didn’t want it.” Bucky did his best to sound unaffected but Steve knew him too well. He could hear the pain the other felt creeping into his voice.

“Then why did you leave me like that? Like I was nothing more than some dumb whore!” Steve slammed his hand into the table, eyes getting watery and he knew that he wasn’t ready for this. After 9 years and those wounds still hadn’t healed yet. He wasn’t ready to dig into it.

\--- 

It was 1953 and Steve had just turned 19. He was becoming more successful with his art, but not enough to make a living. He was renting a shitty apartment with shared bathroom and kitchen. The little he earned on the side by his art all went to his medical bill. He was too small for anyone to hire him. He made it through the day by cleaning at the hospital. A woman’s job, he was told. But what else could he do? He wasn’t famous enough to live of his art and he wasn’t strong enough to have a “man’s job”. 

He was standing in the art gallery where he was lucky enough to show off his skills. The blond suspected the place of taking care of money laundering. Every Tuesday Jamie and his gang would come into the gallery with suitcases. It was clear as day that what they were doing was illegal. Maybe they though Steve was stupid or was relying too much on the money to go to the police. 

Steve didn’t like bullies and he knew they weren’t always playing nice when people stepped in the way. But his life depended on the money, literally. 

The day was like any other Monday. He was at the gallery, a few costumers coming by but didn’t buy anything. The only thing weird was that Jamie was there. Without his gang. His short, dark hair was slicked back and his steel blue eyes were locked on one of Steve’s paintings. The blond didn’t know if he should keep out of the guy’s way and be impolite, but his mother didn’t raise a coward. He stepped closer, setting his eyes on the painting. Compared to the rest of Steve’s art this one was quiet. The colors were warm and welcoming, something intimin about it. It had a lot of details. Beside it was a few sketches of men, all fashionable but hard working. Steve’s favorite was a man dressed in a suit without jacked, sleeves rolled up and leaning against a car. 

“I have a job for you, Steve.” The brunet suddenly said. His gaze was now on the blond. He was smirking, predatory but some way charming. Steve was looking at him with his mouth open, not capable of answering. The brunet gave an amused huff.

“I want you to draw me. I’ll pay you good, but you’ll have to come to my place.” Jamie’s voice was so smooth and welcoming, just like the painting hanging before them. His eyes locked with Steve’s baby blues. There was something intimidating about his stare. The blond didn’t know if he wanted to run or to scream. His chest was filling with emotions. This man was dangerous, everybody in their right state of mind knew that he was, but he was also so gorgeous and mysterious. 

“Oh,” Steve whispered before clearing his throat and answering with a “Yes, sir. I can do that.” He swallowed hard before looking down at his feet. His clothes were not at all as fancy as the man before him. His shoes too big, pants too long so he had to fold them, just like the shirt. He didn’t have the money for a tailor to making him a suit. His cheeks were getting a hint of pink. The brunet took his arm before happily saying;

“As in now.”

Bucky flashed his white teeth in a wide grin. Their arms looped together as the brunet dragged him out into the street and towards his car. Steve was too paralyzed to speak. Why was this so urgent? Maybe this was the end. He might have seen too much and this was the smoothest way to silence him? He didn’t dare to object to the sudden haste. Something in him screamed to flee, while the other whispered seductively in his ear that he should follow the mysterious man.

Steve was gay. He had spent a lot of time being confused and afraid. It was illegal and it was wrong to fancy men over women. Everybody knew that. But time had passed and one day Steve had figured himself out. He had never been with a woman, nor a man. But the thought of laying with a woman was so distant to him. He found himself staring just a second too long at some men. Steve had a thing for brunets, he knew that. He loved the suit in earthly colors, like all the men on his sketches. Rolled up sleeves, cigarette between their lips. It was endearing. 

Jamie fit right into that fantasy, unfortunately. He wasn’t a killer, but Steve was sure that he would never be gay. The man had everything. Jamie opened the passenger door to his Cadillac, holding it for Steve as a proper gentleman. The blond murmured thanks before sitting. The smooth leather was hot from the summer sun but Steve was too afraid to move. He watched the other from the corner of his eye, as the brunet turned on the engine. The expensive car sprung to life, vibrating softly while waiting patiently for the driver to get on with it. Jamie held out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to Steve with a seductive smile. 

“No, thanks. I-, I don’t smoke.” Steve stammered. He lifted his chin and dared to look directly at the other before swallowing hard.

“Easy, kid. Ya’ too tense.” Jamie chuckled and lit one for himself. He lazily exhaled before grinning at Steve.

\--- 

Steve leaned over the table, staring down at Bucky who seemed rather unaffected by the whole situation. Only those tiny sparks of sorrow and hurt that his eyes showed. He was quieter than Steve remembered from the past. He wasn’t his normal wild spirit.

“What happened to your hand?” Steve's eyes moved to his hands locked to the table. His left hand was covered in a leather glove. Something simple, but still something that the old Bucky never would wear because it wasn’t stylish. You could say a lot about the Bucky, but he was always clean shaved and his hair combed perfectly. His style never faltered and he was always dressed to impress, so to speak. But this Bucky was rough. He hadn’t shaved, his hair needed a cut, and his clothes were simple, like he was just blending in with the rest.

“It’s gone, Stevie.” The brunet lifted his eyebrows, as if he was amused by the fact he just told. Bucky watched his hand instead of Steve. Fingers tightening into a fist as if testing it. With the other hand, he removed the glove and showed the blank metal fingers. He flexed them a few times before looking back up at Steve.

“A little gift from Pierce’s scientists.” He stated flatly. The hate that the brunet felt for the guy clearly showing in his frown as he once again flexed his fingers.

And what was Steve supposed to say? That he was sorry for his loss or that he had said right from the start that those Hydra guys were bad news? He was just looking at the hand. He had so many questions about it. He couldn’t figure out how Bucky could move it like a regular hand. But Steve had more important things to discuss with his former lover. It was his time to get answers, to get his life back on track.

“Why did you leave me? What was so important that you left me with nothing?” Steve sneered at him. Bucky snapping his attention back up at Steve’s face. Steve was so close to the others face and he felt 19 again. His 19-year-old self screamed at him to move forward those last 10 inches and kiss the other man. Tasting those soft lips one more time.

“Not even a proper note.” The blond hissed through gritted teeth. 

“Stevie, nothing was more important than you-“

“Don’t!” The blond snapped at him. “Don’t call me that and answer the damn question.” His voice was shaking and he was talking low. It was closer to a whisper for himself. He took a deep breath before dropping down onto the chair behind him. The blond couldn’t stand to stay so close to the other right now. His blue eyes locked on a spot on the floor, he did his best to stay focused.

“That first day,” Bucky hesitated. The brunet was looking at Steve’s face. “Remember what I told you?”

Of cause Steve remembers, it was the most important day of his life.

\--- 

Steve may have had a glass too much of that rich bourbon that the handsome brunet kept pouring at him. All his fear was gone. When they got to the exclusive pent house that Jamie called home, the blond had been terrified of what was going to happen. Jamie told him that he had watched Steve’s art for quite some time now, and he wanted the blond to make a painting of him. Naked. 

Steve’s mouth went dry at the bare though of that tan body naked before him, but the brunet had promised him good money for it and Steve was honestly too afraid to say no to the gang leader. That was how he ended up sitting with his first glass of the hard liquor before a naked Jamie Barnes. The brunet had a blanket thrown over his crotch but nothing else. Steve was more than once caught staring at the other's tan torso. Either the brunet didn’t notice the way Steve was drooling over him or he simply didn’t care. 

Call Steve a lightweight in drinking as well as real life, because 3 drinks later and he was naked. To be honest it had all happened out of nowhere. He couldn’t even remember how they ended up kissing. The first one had been testing but Steve hadn’t tried to get out of it so Jamie continued. A few minutes later and the blond was naked, covered in marks down his throat. Both men had their hands roaming over the others body. Steve wasn’t at all excited about showing his body. He was nothing compared to the other man, but Bucky had eased him on, covering him with kisses. Steve was too far gone in the sensation to care now. 

Steve had his head resting on the others chest, wrapped up in his arms. Steve felt tired, exhausted. But in a good way. He didn’t want to admit it, but that was the first time anyone had touched him. Besides himself, of cause. His mind was on a break, if not he would have freaked out over the fact that he’d just gotten his first blowjob by a guy 9 years older than himself. But it wasn’t the age difference that should freak him out. The guy was the famous criminal Jamie Barnes. Steve still hadn’t gotten that into his tiny, sexually confused head yet. 

“Why’d people call you Jamie?” Steve mumbled, turning his head to watch the brunets face. Chin resting on the others chest. He had no idea why he asked. Perhaps the silence was nagging at him.

“James is too ordinary, I think. Some journalist wrote a headline with it once and it just stuck.” The brunet took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled it slowly, carefully not blowing it right in the smaller man’s face.

Steve studied every beautiful detail of the others face. The artist within him wanted to grab his pencil and sketch those small, simple details. Immortalize them on paper so the memory would never fade. 

The blond had no idea what would happen when he would be kicked out from here.

“Tell me you whole name.” Steve kept pressing on. Still that sense for detail, perhaps.

“James Buchanan Barnes.” Jamie’s hand combed through Steve’s golden hair and Steve closed his eyes.

“Bucky.” The smaller one stated. “Bucky is better, the other is too original.” 

The brunet blinked at him, clearly not following. You could see it in his eyes when the pieces came together and his low, rumbling voice answered;

“Well, then you know what to call me when we’re together.” With a seductive wink. 

When we’re together … so Jamie- Bucky wanted to see him again? Now it was Steve’s turn to look confused. He had told himself that this was just business. He earned some money and was lucky enough to get a roll in the hay with this gorgeous man, but clearly the other was taking this more serious. Was he a hooker now? He didn’t want money for sex, that was not his life. Steve wanted a relationship, maybe not with Bucky and now, but that was what he wanted in the future. Not to be paid for sex.

“Too many thoughts running through that pretty head.” Bucky murmured and took up on scratching lightly through his blond hair again. 

“I’ll take care of you, Stevie. Till the end of the line.”

\--- 

“The worst day of my life.” Steve snarled back. He could see the hurt flicker through the brunet’s eyes. It was a lie, it had been the best day of his life. It had changed everything, he had been living the dream with the guy he loved after that day. But clearly the other had felt differently after all.

Bucky lowered his gaze to his hands. He discreetly began to play with the metal on the left hand. Steve could still remember that whenever the brunet was nervous around Steve he would start picking at his nails. Steve knew that Bucky normally became pretty aggressive when nervous, but only towards others. The nervousness would eat up at him and he would react instinctively. Which was normally with a lot of yelling and a few broken things. But somehow, he respected Steve too much to ever react like that towards him. 

Steve could still remember one of the first times he really got an insight in the life of Bucky Barnes. Gabe had returned with bad news. That cost the life of a vase and resulted in a hole in the wall. Later Steve was told by Natasha that Bucky had always had a temper. It was a defense mechanism, as Nat has put it. To strike fear and show who’s the alpha in the gang. Nat was the only women involved, which was lucky. Or else the guys would have been dead by now, more than once if possible. 

Bucky bit his lips and moved his eyes to Steve again. His eyes roamed over his body. Last time they saw each other Steve was still small, now he was the same build as Bucky and even an inch or two taller. Steve looked him straight in the eyes, still looking for answers to why the other left him. Clearly the brunet tried to avoid the topic. 

“It suits you.” The other murmured, eyes meeting Steve’s before continuing; “Even though my Stevie is still under all that.”

That might be true, but Steve was not going to agree with him. He wanted to correct him for the pet name, too. All those promises and sweet things whispered had all been lies, and they’d left Steve with a huge wound that time would never be able to heal. It was cut open by the man before him and now he had to stitch it back again. 

Bucky gave a soft laugh, it was flat and without emotions. He shook his head before looking back up at Steve. The blond had no idea what ran through the other’s head, but he mentally prepared himself for another of Bucky’s tricks to talk about anything else. 

“You were so young and lively.” It was said as if the brunet was surprised by it. “sweet, creative, naïve …” he sat back in the chair, for the first time looking relaxed and Steve had a feeling that the guy was planning something.

“I wasn’t naïve.” Lie, again. Of cause the blond had been naïve. He was boring and innocent before he met Bucky. Bucky showed him all the forbidden pleasures behind closed doors. The intimacy that Steve had never imagined possible, but yet again, he’d never imagined himself being with someone like Bucky. 

\--- 

Bucky was tracing kisses down Steve’s spine, hands roaming down his sides. It all made Steve stutter and his breath hitch. It tickled but in a good way, his cock painfully hard into the pillow that Bucky had put under his hips, exposing him to the other. 

Bucky’s lips brushed over his tailbone, sending goosebumps over his skin. His breath was hot against Steve and he found himself whimpering, just a little sound escaping his lips.

“You’re so beautiful, Stevie,” A kiss on his tailbone. “A masterpiece, only for me.” Bucky’s voice was husky, filled with his own arousal before he spread the others cheeks with his hands. Steve felt the heat rising in his cheeks, even though they’d done this before. Each time they had sex it felt like the first time. Just as magical and exiting. 

And the blond gave a moan as the others tongue darted out over his tight, pink hole. Small kitten licks at first and it drove Steve crazy. It was sparkling flames in his chest but not enough to start a fire yet. The brunet was probing at his entrance, pulling at the rim until the tip could breach him. In no time, it all became wet and messy down there. Wet noises and Steve’s soft moans was the only thing disturbing the peace in the room. 

Bucky gave one last kiss on his entrance before pulling away. He reached over Steve to get the petroleum jelly, his own erection poking into Steve thigh. They had been together for 3 months now, Bucky being patience with Steve and knowing that he’d never been with anyone before. They had only gotten as far as two fingers but today Steve wanted everything. He knew that Bucky would be careful and never do something that would hurt the blond. 

Before pulling away to continue preparing Steve, Bucky captured his lips in a soft but dominant kiss. His weight pressing down on Steve and tongues fought against each other. Knowing where Bucky’s mouth had just been made him even more turned on. He wasn’t afraid to admit that, he knew that Bucky felt the same. It was dirty and wrong in all the right ways. Bucky pulled away just a few inches. His eyes were dark and glassy, probably matching Steve’s. They shared a few intimin seconds, as if Bucky was asking permission to continue. So Steve nodded, stealing one last kiss as the other moved away again.

A moment later and Steve was put on display again, one of Bucky’s hands holding him open while a finger sticky with petroleum jelly was circling his entrance. Steve knew how to relax to let the other in, they’d done this nearly every day since that first time they were together. Shortly after, Bucky’s finger was sinking into him, all the way to the last knuckle. Steve pushed his ass closer, seeking for that spot Bucky knew where was. First time Bucky had showed him that little spot, Steve had been panting and mewling until he lastly came without even being touched. Bucky sure knew how to massage that bundle of nerves to make Steve’s brain melt. 

But Bucky deliberately ignored it. Fingering him slowly before a second finger easily joined the other. Scissoring him open so slowly and purposefully that Steve was trembling with anticipation. It was a tight fit already.

“Think you can take one more, baby?” Bucky’s voice was so soft and caring, and yet still sexy. Goosebumps covered Steve body once more. He was falling apart and Bucky still managed to sound so in control. 

“Yeah,” the blond answered in a dreamy voice. He was in his own little foggy state where the only thing important was Bucky and the feeling of a third finger pushing in besides the others. It hurt a bit, but not enough to kill the mood. Steve was hot all over as he pushed back against Bucky’s fingers. Finally the other was seeking for that sweet spot inside him. Steve went pliant with a high pitched moan as he pushed up his hips to get more and Bucky delivered. His fingers massaging over that one spot inside Steve that made him mad with arousal.

He slowly pulled his fingers from the smaller man’s body and Steve could feel his eyes staring right at his gaping hole. The jar of slick was opened again and followed by a soft moan from Bucky. He’d been hard and untouched since Steve was thrown on his stomach. A large hand took hold of Steve's hip and guided him up until the tip of the others cock was resting against his waiting hole. 

“So small and cute.” Bucky was mumbling to himself as he toyed with the tip around Steve’s pink and open entrance. “You sure, Stevie?” the brunet’s cockiness was gone and replaced with genially concern for the other.

“I’m sure, Buck. I want it.” Steve’s voice was trembling and he wanted nothing more than to feel all of Bucky in every way possible. The other thrusted his hips against Steve, making his cock rub between his cheeks. A hand still supporting his hip.

“Please, Buck-“ The sentence turned into a moan as the brunet slowly breached him. He felt so full from just the tip and it stung. A burning sensation filled him and he had to hide his face in the pillow so Bucky wouldn’t see the pain that crashed through him. Steve had a small hope that the brunet hadn’t noticed his discomfort but he was betrayed by a small whine of pain.

Bucky stopped as soon as the sound escaped the blond’s lips, and his big, warm hand ran soothingly up his back to his neck and back again. The brunet was leaning over him again but without pushing in further and was kissing his neck and ear. 

“It’s okay, baby. I know it hurts, just relax. You’re too tense, doll.” Bucky’s voice was so low and rumbling, only for Steve to hear. It did help him relax, but Bucky’s voice always had that effect on him. He took a deep breath and did his best to relax his hole for the other. 

“That’s my boy, always pleasing me.” Another kiss to his ear. “I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. Just let me in.” Bucky sank in a little deeper, little more again, and after a moment or two, Steve could feel their thighs pressing together. 

Bucky was no small man down there and Steve could feel every inch of him splitting him open. He was panting and he could feel himself blushing hard over the praises from the brunet. Bucky tilted him a bit to the side before wrapping a strong arm around Steve’s chest. The other arm was pillowed under Steve’s head, just like spooning, but with Bucky’s huge, hard member filling him completely. They fit perfectly and in that moment Steve had never felt more secure. His own cock wasn’t hard anymore but it was still so maddening good that he didn’t care. 

Then the other started thrusting. Nothing more than rocking into him, not really moving inside Steve, but they both moaned together. Bucky’s muffled into blond hair and he tightened his grip around Steve’s torso. Steve was panting harder. It was overwhelming and so good that he couldn’t breathe.

“Stevie, all the way down. Don’t want you fainting on me now.” He kept moving into him nevertheless, but Steve suddenly became aware that he had asthma. He took a deep, shaking breath. It only made him feel even more of Bucky inside him. He found a rhythm and so did Bucky. The second Steve was breathing properly again, the other was pulling half way out and sliding in again.

Steve whined something that might have been a request for Bucky to do that again, but he wasn’t sure. Bucky’s hand around his chest snaked down and wrapped around his now half hard member. In no time, he was hard again, and Bucky was jerking him in the same tempo as his hips was thrusting. 

They went like that for what felt like eternity and yet it was all over too soon. Skin slapping against skin, moans and promises, hot pleasure and love. Steve couldn’t take it, he was clawing at Bucky’s strong arm, begging him to move faster, harder, more, yes, please, Bucky …

And Steve came with a howl. Shooting all over Bucky’s hand and he was writhing in the other’s arms. Pleasure blinding him as Bucky milked the last drop out of him. The brunet bit down on his neck, a few hard thrusts and he stilled. Panting into his hair before going pliant behind Steve. They were both breathing hard when Steve heard Bucky chuckle behind him. He was moving around for a bit, supporting his weight on his elbow and looking down at Steve’s face. He was just looking at him with a soft smile.  
Bucky cock had gone flaccid but was still inside Steve. He was leaning down to kiss Steve. Slow, lazy, loving. So different from their animalistic activities, but it was nice. 

After they cleaned up and Steve for the first – but surely not last time – felt Bucky’s release run down his thighs. They’d quickly dried each other off with a damp washcloth and was now back in bed. Steve resting on top of Bucky while the other lit a cigarette. He took a long drag and exhaled it slowly, still careful not to breath it down in Steve’s face. They were silence for a while, just enjoying the aftermath of the best orgasm in Steve’s life. 

Bucky took another drag of the cigarette and this time Steve crawled up, his lips parted and he was only an inch from Bucky’s. Bucky exhaled into the other’s mouth, watching the blond inhale it. As the blond exhaled it again, the burnet smirked at him. Their lips met in a short kiss. 

“You shouldn’t smoke, it’s not good for you.” The brunet said it with no concern. They’d done it before, but Steve only wanted 2, maybe 3 drags and then he’d had enough for the day, so Bucky wasn’t going to stop him. Besides, it was kinda hot shotgunning. 

\--- 

“Can’t I at least smoke? Knowing you we’ll be in here for quite some time.” Bucky sighed and showed the palms of his hands, still cuffed to the table. Well, the guy couldn’t exactly run from here, and Bucky wouldn’t hurt Steve, that was something the blond was sure of even after all this time.

Steve took out the keys and released the other man. Bucky was already turning red where the cuffs had been. He rubbed the sore skin before sitting back again. His legs were forward, crossed at the ankles. Steve found his pack of cigarettes, knowing that they had striped Bucky for everything he had on him, except his clothes. The blond lit it for him and took a single drag of it before handing it to the brunet.

“You shouldn’t smoke.” Bucky stated, exhaling out the smoke in a slow stream.

“I don’t have to worry ‘bout asthma anymore, pal.” Steve shoot back. He got up from the chair, needing to stretch his legs. He didn’t know what to say or ask Bucky. He had so many questions but now that the day was finally here, 9 years later, he had no idea what to do. Steve was more lost than ever. The blond took a few steps over to the wall, leaning onto it and crossed his arms. Eyes locked on the brunet. The brunet’s eyes were locked on something else. He was looking at Steve’s right hand.

“You still wear it.” A tiny smile spread across Bucky’s face. Bucky was talking about the golden band around Steve’s finger. Bucky had one day proposed to him, which had been silly. They couldn’t get married. The only reason they could have such an open relationship was because people feared Bucky and his gang. He had said he wanted Steve for the rest of his days, not matter what happened. Rightfully married or not, he liked the thought of Steve as his husband. The engraving said “Till the end of the line – 1954”, a year after they’d meet. 

And yes, Steve still wore it. Most people just assumed he was married, his closest friends though he’d lost the love of his life, which was true. They just didn’t know that the love of his life was a man. They also knew not to press the subject. Sam kept telling that he needed to talk about to get over it, but Steve kept up the lie and the walls, with the ring always on his finger. 

“I think it’s stuck by now, to be honest.” Steve answered with a nod. 

Bucky opened the top button of his shirt, pulling out a long silver necklace with his matching gold ring hanging in it. 

“Never left it.” The brunet fumbled with the ring for a moment before putting it back under his shirt. “Right over my heart where it belongs.”

“Stop that sentimental shit. If I was so important then why did you leave me?” Steve wasn’t even angry by now. The clock was ticking by slowly and he wanted to leave and never see Bucky again. Or rather he wanted to go back in time and fix whatever went wrong that day.

“I promised to take care of you, and I did.” Bucky’s gaze lowered to the table, as if he was ashamed to admit his next part.

“It went out of control. I knew that if Hydra knew how much you meant to me, they would end you. And I couldn’t take care of you no more, with them taking over everything.” His voice betrayed him, he sounded broken and lost for a moment before he crushed the cigarette and rested his forehead on his hand, eyes on the table.

“It was small things to begin with. Buy and deliver like it always was but we just didn’t know that doing business with Hydra would end like that. Then suddenly it was observations jobs that turned into threats. Simple threats, just knocking some sense into people to get the money out of them.” Bucky was curling in on himself. His body language was so open before but know he seemed scared. 

“And then one day the letter came in with a job I never wanted to do. Hydra needed a hitman, I knew how to handle weapons. Threats turned into assassinations.”

\--- 

The day had started nicely. They’d been at one of the fancy restaurants that Bucky owned to wash all the dirty money he got from weapon dealing. Not many people went there so they could sit quietly in a corner, pretending that homosexuality wasn’t a sin. They kept it cool, nevertheless. Small talking, sharing a taste at each other’s food, and holding hands over the table when people didn’t look.

When they went home, Bucky had thrown Steve onto the kitchen table and fucked him like there was no tomorrow. Saying that Steve had kept sending him such devilish looks under their meal that the brunet had been aching for him the whole evening. They did it everywhere and anytime they could. They shared kisses, stares, and touches whenever people wasn’t looking. 

Of cause Bucky’s gang knew all about it. Most of them didn’t care, the rest was wise enough to keep their mouth shut. Bucky was the perfect example for the world to see that not all gay men were fairies or weak. Bucky was handsome, strong, and successful in his own dangerous way. 

But the sun went down and Steve was sitting close against the other in the sofa, sharing a cigarette as they always did after sex. Bucky killed the rest of it in the tray before capturing Steve’s lips. He tastes like smoke and whiskey, rich and spicy. Their tongues fought together, but not wild or dominant. Just erotic and private in itself. Bucky pulled away and carefully got up from behind Steve. He bend down, kissing him again before finally looking Steve in the eyes.

“I hafta go, baby doll.” His voice is soft and like honey, as he strokes the others cheek. “I got work to do.” 

“Be careful. You know I don’t like you running around at night. You always end up in trouble.” The blond sends him a cocky smile before giving him a final kiss.

That’s where it all went to hell, Steve knows now.

Steve stays up the whole night. As much as he was joking, he still is afraid whenever Bucky is out at night. He trusts him, he wouldn’t come home smelling like a whorehouse, but what if something happened to him? Steve trusts the guys in the gang to take care of Bucky, but sometimes he’s going out alone. Steve never gets an insight in the work he does. Only the small things he hears whenever the guys come up to Bucky to tell him stuff. 

And tonight was the worst day to worry. If he’d just gone to bed he wouldn’t have seen it. Steve was laying on the couch, a blanked tossed over him and his cup of tea going cold on the table. He only woke when the door closed and Bucky turned on the light in the livingroom. Steve jerked awake, rubbing his eyes before sitting up.

Time stopped for a few seconds. Bucky’s white shirt was covered in blood. Not just a few strains, it was drenched in blood. He was bleeding from his nose but all that blood surely couldn’t come from that. Steve got up to his feet, nearly running to Bucky but stopping before reaching him. He could feel his blood freeze and he knew he looked paler than normal.

“Bucky, what-“

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Stevie.” His eyes were so hard. His voice too, it was different. Bucky sounded scared. “I took care of it, it’s okay, baby.” Bucky was dead in his tracks until Steve reached forward to touch his face. Bucky took his hand before he could touch him, carefully taking it down again. He sent Steve a charming smile, like everything was as it usually was. 

“I just took a pretty hard blow to the head, doll. I’m all right.” Bucky nodded while speaking. He turned on his heal, heading for the bathroom. “Go to bed, I’ll be there in a few.”

Steve was stupid enough to do as Bucky said. He believed him, he was so naïve. To be honest, all he wanted was to forget it. Go to bed, kiss Bucky goodnight, and fall asleep in his arms as they did every night. And that was what they did. Bucky came back, washed clean with damp hair and he was naked. He got under the covers and pulled Steve crushingly close before inhaling the smell on his neck. 

“I love you, babe … you know that, right?” weird thing to say now, because Steve knew that Bucky loved him. He would never think differently.

“Yeah, silly. I love you, too.” He turned and gave Bucky a small kiss on the nose before they fell asleep.

\--- 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you, Buck.” The nickname slipped but Steve didn’t care. All he wanted was to take Bucky into his arms. The others eyes were red from unshed tears. He’d never seen Bucky cry before and the sight before him was tearing him apart. Bucky was right, he was naïve back then. He should have pressed the subject back then. 

“I wanted to make you happy, I would give you the moon if you asked for it.” Bucky mumbled, avoiding Steve’s eyes. 

“I was happy. I wanted you, Bucky. Not your money.” Steve was leaning over the table, face close to Bucky’s.

“I was stupid, okay? Steve, I’m sorry. I would change everything if I could, but I can’t.” His eyes darted up to Steve. His face was hard but his eyes seemed wounded. He was lost and Steve actually felt sorry for him. He moved his chair closer to Bucky and sat down. The room was silent. Bucky staring at Steve with such a hurtful look and Steve watching him without much emotion. He still hated him, but how could you possibly hate the man of your dreams. 

“I know, Bucky. I just want to know what went through your head that one night.” Steve was talking lower now, like he was giving up the hope of ever getting a life worth living again. Steve, after 9 years, finally understood that no matter what Bucky thought that day, it wouldn’t change a thing. Steve would still be without Bucky and that was a fact he didn’t want in his life. 

“I don’t know … I knew I couldn’t get out of Hydra and if I tried they would take you instead. If I left a note you would be suborn enough to follow it. So I disappeared.” The brunet confessed. He swallowed hard before continuing;

“Looking at you now is like water in the dessert, Stevie. But I can see how much I hurt you, and I’d rather be dead than see you hurt. Especially when I am the one to hurt you so bad.” A single tear ran down his cheek and Steve couldn’t stop himself anymore. 

\--- 

Bucky had more and more of those mysterious nights where he’d come home early in the morning. Steve was still suspicious, but he never came home again smeared in blood, so he continued to trust him. 

“You gonna work tonight?” Steve asked, crawling naked into bed. Bucky was still in the bathroom.

“Nope, tonight is all about you, Stevie.” The brunet answered as he stepped equally naked into the bedroom. He got under the covers and wasted no time getting close to Steve, finding his lips in a passionate kiss. His hand moved to the smaller man’s back, pulling him flush against his chest. They’d been together for 3 years now. They never parted, except when Bucky had important work to do. Steve was still not involved in anything, so that nothing bad could happen to him. 

A couple of minute’s past with kissing and touching. Steve could feel Bucky getting hard against his thigh so he reached down and wrapped his hand around him. He was stroking him in the same slow, passionate tempo as their kissing. Bucky was quickly following, wrapping his own hand around Steve’s growing member. It was dry and they both knew it would become unpleasant if they kept up with nothing to make it slide better. So Steve took up on kissing the other’s neck. He could hear Bucky chuckle when he gave him a small bite.

Steve pushed away the covers and crawled down Bucky’s body till his head was over his cock. It was standing straight in the air, only pointing a little bit to the right. Details again, but Steve loved those details. 

The blond gave the head a lick with the flat of his tongue. He was watching Bucky from under thick lashes, the way he knew drove Bucky crazy with desire. He licked his palm, knowing he would need the extra help. He could take Bucky pretty deep, but he was too big to go all the way without actually choking Steve in a rather unpleasant way. 

He wrapped his hand around him and took the head into his mouth. A hand went to his hair, lightly pulling him up and down as his lips stretched over Bucky’s cock. If there’s something Steve had learned about himself over the past 3 years is that he love to have Bucky’s cock in his mouth. He felt so powerless and yet in control. He loved the way he could make Bucky pant, and the way Bucky would guide him while tugging at his hair. It went straight to his own hard cock. 

His other hand was playing with the brunet’s balls, caressing them gently while sucking and drooling on his cock. He made a mess on purpose. Made it shiny with spit so it would go easier in without extra slick. The hand in his hair pulled him up shortly after. Bucky’s eyes were dark and he pulled Steve up on his lap. Their mouths met in a hungry kiss. 

Their erections were rubbing against each other as the kiss continued. Steve, without breaking the kiss, reached over and got the petroleum jelly, handing it to Bucky. 

“Need your fingers.” Steve whimpered into the others mouth. “I need you, Buck.”

“I know, babe. I’ll always take care of you.” Bucky managed to say it between the kissing. He got the jar open and smeared his fingers in it. The burnet reached behind Steve and without warning he slid one finger in. Steve moaned into the other's mouth, nails digging into his shoulders as the sting was replaced with pleasure. Steve was moaning nonsense. He always did while they were fucking, he had no control of it but Bucky had told him how much he loved that he could make the blond fall apart like that, so Steve did nothing to stop it. 

No time past and Bucky had 3 fingers in him, scissoring him open until Steve told him that he was ready and that Bucky should quit teasing. Bucky gave a low chuckle before guiding Steve by the hip onto his cock. Steve had a hand in Bucky’s hair and as the tip of his cock breached him, the smaller one tugged at it. The other hand was clawing at his shoulder and he would surly have marks on him the next day. 

Steve sank down further and short after Bucky was buried all the way inside that tight heat. They met again in a hot kiss as they began moving together. Steve riding him, rolling his hips. Bucky pushing up against him every time he sank down. Everything vanished around them. They were in their own foggy, erotic world. 

The pleasure came crashing down on both of them, Steve messing up Bucky’s hard stomach and Bucky filling up the other. Both panting, moaning, whining in one voice. Steve collapses on top of the other, struggling to catch his breath. Bucky’s heart beating hard under his ear and Steve wants to stay right there forever, never letting go of the other again. Sticking to the brunet, literally, by his own release. That was kind of disgusting, but he really didn’t want to let go, and the other didn’t seem to mind. 

“Stevie, look at me.” The other says in a low voice that reminds Steve of home. Steve did as the other said, looking up into his eyes.

“I love you, okay? Whatever happens.” His eyes were so weirdly worried. He was dead serious and the only reply that Steve could think of was kissing him. Nothing hot, just a silent promise.

“I know, Buck. I love you just as much.” Steve seals it with another kiss before placing his head down into the others chest. Steve fell asleep shortly after.

The next morning Steve wakes with a headache and a weird feeling in his stomach. He felt sick and the only thing that really helped was Bucky’s strong arms wrapped securely around him. He blinked a few times, seeking for brown hair and tanned skin but nothing was there. 

Steve jerked up into a sitting position. Everything was out of order, but only a little. All of Bucky’s clothes were gone and a big envelope was laying on the dresser. Steve flew up from the bed, blanked wrapped around him. Maybe Bucky was just at work, maybe he got a call in the morning and went out without waking him up? 

The only thing inside the envelope was money. A lot of money to be precise. And the only thing written on it was “I love you” with Bucky's handwriting. Steve felt his throat tightening and he was trembling. Bucky had left him. He promised to take care of him and he left him! What was Steve supposed to do with money when he wanted Bucky?

He took the phone and dialed the number to Dum Dum’s office, the rotary dial not moving fast enough as the tears was streaming down his face. The line was dead. He tried every single one from Bucky’s gang but the lines were all dead, nothing happened. He fell to the floor, envelope in hand, and his vision turned blurry as the tears hit those 3 words.

\--- 

Steve went for it. It was stupid and not what was supposed to happen, but he’d never been able to think clear when it came to Bucky. He took Bucky by the collar and lifted him from the chair. Before Bucky had a chance to say anything, Steve pressed his lips to the brunet’s. His eyes were burning and he felt small again for the first time in a very long time. He felt home, secure. Bucky’s arms wrapped around him and when they parted for air Bucky pulled him in closer. Holding him like he was 19 again. 

“I’m so sorry, Stevie.” The brunet mumbled into the others neck. Steve could feel how tightly the brunet was holding onto his shirt, like he was afraid to let go now that he finally had Steve back in his arms. Steve didn’t know if he could ever forgive Bucky, but it was only a little voice inside him was telling him that this was bad. The rest of him didn’t want anything else than Bucky.

“Bucky, I have a plan but you have to trust me, okay?” Steve had moved his hands to the others neck, looking him straight in the eyes. The brunet nodded, eyes still as red as Steve’s felt. Steve gave him one last kiss before pulling away. It was hard to do so, but he had to.

Steve reached inside his pocked, taking out a key. He took Bucky’s hand and placed it firmly in his hand.

“You remember back in 55?” and that was all Steve had to say to get a tiny smirk onto the brunet’s lips. Steve could feel his own smile grow slightly.

“Yeah … same spot as last time?” Bucky shortly looked at the key, then back up at Steve.

“Our secret spot, yeah.” Steve nodded, taking in the sight of Bucky one more time.

“I still love you, Stevie. Always have, always will.” That dead serious stare that Bucky wore the night he left was back. Steve had to swallow hard before replying.

“I know, Buck. I love you too.”

They shared one last, heated kiss before they pulled apart. Steve headed for the door before he did anything stupid. Or rather; before he did anything worse than what he was doing. He was getting his life back. What he had been fighting for, for 9 solid years was finally going to happen. He stopped by the door, looking back at Bucky before saying;

“Let me take care of it, baby.”


End file.
